Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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