he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
