I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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