please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
