she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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