I'm so fucking centered right now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Even my vagina gasped.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
