Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
