Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
