Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
