do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize