we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize