I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
