I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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