can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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