I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ugly people sure do ruin things
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
