You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I could make wine with my vomit
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
