I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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