just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
