p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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