Where is the hickey?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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