Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize