Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Who died my cat blue again?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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