hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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