All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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