i would punch a child for taco bell
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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