Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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