her vagine was all disorganized.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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