New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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