Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
