Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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