Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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