It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
