no, he came in my armpit
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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