He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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