Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
