Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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