In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
