During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
