If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
