whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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