the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
