Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
