as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
