Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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