I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize