I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who died my cat blue again?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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