Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
