u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
