help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
