Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
