before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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