Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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